I would like to submit my application for the position of Secretary of Defense Against Booers. As Secretary of Defense Against Booers I will ensure that swift and consistent justice is applied to all people who boo at inappropriate times. All those booing at inappropriate times shall face the consequences of a partial justice system, which in layman’s terms means a nice kick to the pants. In order to carry out these measures we will have Professional Pantskickers who are six sigma, alpha beta epsilon, omega 3, blackbelt, and Kung Fu Panda qualified to fulfill these important positions. We will begin poring through applications immediately upon designation and expect to have all positions filled by the time we leave office in 4 to 8 years, GST (Government Standard Time).
