The real Donald and I plan to emulate this brave charge by rescuing our voters from the ravages of diversity, equity and inclusion. The toxic male, anti white, anti Christian environment where meritocracy and fair play are demonized are a scourge to our existence. Rather than fighting this kind of stupidity, if elected, we propose to establish a new department in the federal government tasked with the responsibility of evening the playing field.
The Department of “Whoz it” will help re-identify our marginalized citizens so they can compete fairly in the workplace. Their goal is to provide “work names” that comply with all the things liberals dream about, free stuff for everyone, open borders, no responsibility or accountability and close all the prisons, just to name a few.
The Dept. of Whoz it will be run at the cabinet level by Secretary Manual Malarkey, an alias for yours truly, V.P. candidate Jay Alsup. Assistant Secretary will be Aunt Valerie, AKA Fatima Cattywampus. Together, Malarkey and Cattywampus will assist all applicants with their work place names. We have taken the liberty of naming the Perry family siblings and will assist with the rest of the family as time goes by.
Justin Li Bamboosler
Kelby Poncho Kerfuffle
Brandon Pierre Brouhaha
Jenelyn Annika Skedaddle
Troy Boris Katzenough
Cody Simon Tomfoolery
MACA
