Yep, that’s it! I finally figured out why we’re having so much trouble with this election year cycle.
We’ve crossed the summit, we’ve reached the boiling point, we’ve eaten all of the Blue coated M & M’s, we’ve “fiddled why Rome burned”, Not familiar with this phrase? Well, here it comes….(According to a well-known expression, Rome’s emperor at the time, the decadent and unpopular Nero, “fiddled while Rome burned.” The expression has a double meaning: Not only did Nero play music while his people suffered, but he was an ineffectual leader in a time of crisis. Sound familiar?
Our country has been overtaken by CONTRARIANS, not aliens, CONTRARIANS! Who are they? A person who opposes or rejects popular opinion. One who goes against the current practice. According to Patricia Jones who wrote an article in the Deseret News, on March 13th, they are “popping up in national polls in today’s volatile political election process.” She calls these Contrarians, “C.A.V.E.s, Citizens Against Virtually Everything” and here’s what’s interesting. She says the research indicates, ” that older men were consistently more likely to fall into the C.A.V. E. category.” That puts me square in the middle of the C.A.V.E.s. Alas! another great reason to vote for me.
Here’s a couple of guys from an old T.V. show in the 70’s that were contrarians. Watch this:
I’m pretty convinced that the number of C.A.V.E.s in America is growing exponentially because they had to write “antidisestablishmentarianism”
And, you know what’s making voters more frustrated? Antidisestablishmentarianism isn’t even the longest word in the English language. There is a word that is 189,819 letters long and takes a person three and a half hours to pronounce it correctly. (It’s the chemical name of titin,a giant protein) according to Patricia Jones. Holy Cow! Who thought of that?
You see, we just have a bunch of grumpy people running around our streets, wondering if any of our nations issues can be fixed. They are Citizens Against Virtually Everything because they’re angry from their elementary school days and worse yet, now, our politicians can’t even decide whether or not to keep daylight savings time.
As I traverse this great nation, from small town to small town, I encounter people who actually know how to fix problems. After all, they can fix tractors, and rockets. They repair people and animals. They even know how to screw light bulbs into a socket, as opposed to some of our politicians, why can’t we gather their ideas and solve some of our woes. Bring them back to Washington D.C. for a couple of hours, they’ll solve our problems, and we can send all of the politicians home to write, I’m sorry” on the blackboard 189,819 times for misleading all of the people who voted for him/her. Thanks for fixing nothing while you were in office.
If elected, I will find the problem solvers, solve the problems one by one, and allow people to be Happy, Happy, Happy.
Vote for the REAL DONALD alias C.A.V.E (man) 
