“Dad in your story about combs, how come you can afford a chainsaw, but can’t afford combs to comb your hair?”

“Children, let me tell you about our chainsaw growing up. We were so dirt poor our chainsaw was homemade. It consisted of a cardboard body, carefully crafted rocks attached to string for a chain, and a hamster and wheel to run the motor. It was as legit a homemade chainsaw as you’ve ever seen.”