The title of my campaign message this week sounds a little like a play in the Super Bowl, doesn’t it?  And by the way, how bout’ them Broncos!  Just lovin’ that score.  If they can win so, can the “Real Donald.”

Yep, it’s four states down and 46 to go before we know the winner of the 2016 presidential race.  South Carolina and Nevada were good to us.  I’m pretty sure I picked up a half of a delegate in each state. That should produce a whole, unless the government has found a way to tax delegates too and then I might only end up with 2/3 of a delegate.  Either way, it exceeds expectations!  We’re on a roll.

Speaking of rolls!  Notice how people just keep fighting around the world? Everyone wants to chime in, According to the U.N. there are 10 major wars going on around the world today with 32 intrastate wars.  A President has to have a plan.  So,here’s my plan:

Now that the New Hampshire primary is behind us and New England is buried in 4 feet of snow and temp’s could feel as low as minus 35, it’s time to move on to the south and west.

Thanks to all of my New Hampshire supporters who braved the cold, waited until the last minute to make a decision on who to vote for, decided to be neither republican or democrat and basically, took the day off to go skiing.  Way to Go!

We continue on our way to Bictory.  (That’s Bickering, as in debates, and Victory, as in, Look out for my dust.)

In Nevada and South Carolina, I intend to remind the voters-No Campaign-No Gain!  Wanta know why?

Now if that doesn’t make you want to loose weight, vote or just get sick to your stomach, you’re not human. Vote for me anyway!

This trip to the south and west is going to require a lot of patience and persistence.  We will have to travel long distances to canvas these states and help the voters know that “The Real Donald” is coming to the rescue:

Of course, they will have to remember that my campaign vehicle has some limitations, remember?

Hey Mark, where’s my back-up cow? This mare is looking tired. She’s already seen thousands of miles and every time I say “Hi Ho Silver” she just ignores me.

Maybe, we need a little Carpool Karoke to perk her up?

I think this mare will giddy-up after hearing that inspiring music. Whatcha think?

I have heard that the voters in Nevada are distraught with the options for the presidency this year.  They are looking for someone with more courage to take on our enemies in the world.  Someone, who has the heart to care about our local citizens in America and someone, with the brains to figure out E=MCsquared.  I have a couple of ideas for them:

or this option may even TRUMP (pun intended) the wizard:

Mew World Order: Siberian City Backs Cat for Mayor

by The Associated Press                         

Whew!

We just made it through the Iowa Caucus and now we’re on our way to winning New Hampshire this week.  As usual, it will require our greatest effort to convince the “Granite State” citizens that our campaign supports their “Live free or Die” motto, as much as, we support corn syrup subsidies in Iowa. In January 1776 it became the first of the British North American colonies to establish a government independent of Great Britain‘s authority and it was the first to establish its own state constitution.

I’m pretty sure this state is “wrapped up” (no pun intended) because they have “no sales tax” which means they’ll love my “no new taxes” sandwich which I will provide while visiting each city in the state.

Basically, the sandwich will consist of 2 pieces of bread, hardened like granite, no meat (we don’t want their cholesterol to go up),  2 pickles, 1 leaf of “dyed, blue lettuce to represent their state flag, and mustard on the bread that states, “Live free or die.”  I already did a “feasibility study” in the state.  Two people agreed it was the worse tasting sandwich they have ever eaten but, it was perfect because it reminded them of how gov’t is run.  Blah! Blah! Blah!  It was a hit!

I’m fully confident that they will eagerly accept my proposal for “Curbs on funding from traffic tickets.” The following article in the Deseret News explains my rationale,

SALT LAKE CITY — A state lawmaker says the small Box Elder County town of Mantua is a speed trap.

Sen. Lyle Hillyard, R-Logan, said one-third of the town’s budget is supported by traffic ticket revenue.

“This is the only place I get complaints about in my district,” he told the Senate Transportation and Public Utilities and Technology Committee on Monday.

Hillyard is sponsoring SB100, which would cap the amount of revenue a municipality can collect from traffic tickets at 25 percent of its budget. The committee sent the bill to the full Senate with a unanimous recommendation.

Mantua is a town of 687 residents, according to the 2010 census. The town is not specifically listed in the proposed legislation, but Hillyard says he is sponsoring the bill because he’s had many constituents complain about getting tickets there.

Other states have imposed similar revenue caps, he said, including Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma and Florida.

While there has historically been many fatal car crashes in Sardine Canyon, Hillyard said the concrete barriers that now divide the highway have increased safety in the canyon and strict policing is not as needed as it once was.

Mantua Mayor and Police Chief Mike Johnson says the improved safety in the canyon has nothing to do with the barriers.

“In all the time I spent with the highway patrol, I never saw those barriers on the highway stop any accidents or do away with fatal accidents,” he said.

Johnson said police recently ticketed someone for going 108 mph in a 60 mph zone, and that there are frequently cars traveling more than 90 mph there.

Four DUI arrests since Dec. 1, he said, has made the area safer for both Mantua residents and Hillyard’s constituents in Logan.

“I think that we’re sending a message and getting people to slow down,” Johnson said.

Johnson is Mantua’s one full-time police officer, and there are three additional part-time officers.

To clear up misconceptions, Mantua financial analyst Lorrie Herd presented the actual revenue generated by the tickets.

Herd said 42 to 43 percent of the revenue goes back to the state. Last year, that left the town with $246,000. The cost of funding the police department and court system takes roughly $229,000 a year, leaving the town with $17,000.

This year, revenue from July 1 through Dec. 31 leaves the town with a net of $23,000, she said. After around $14,000 is taken out to help fund the fire department, the town will have gained a net of approximately $9,000.

If Hillyard’s bill passes, Herd says Mantua will have a budget shortfall of more than $100,000.

Anyone who wants to Live free or die, can’t stand traffic tickets!

SCORE:The Real Donald ..2 other candidates 0.

Now the other advantage “The Real Donald” and the “The Real First Lady” have is that we have lived in New England. We know that people there are down to earth.  They don’t like to mess around.  They have everything under control.  Just watch: The Shemp vs an ironing board for 1 minute 29 seconds.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=shemp+vs+an+ironing+board

So, there you have it.  New Hampshire is a slam dunk.  Once they see this video and I explain how I would get things done in Washington, well, it’s “ALL ABOARD”  to the Nations Capital.

SCORE: The Real Donald..3 other candidates ).

Wish me well this week or Wish me Happy Birthday or Wish me to go away.

It’s the Bowl of Super alias The Real Donald

Well, here we go folks.  The Iowa Caucus is this week and the New Hampshire Primary is close behind.  All of the candidates are now worried because “The Real Donald” campaign has gained so much momentum in such a short time.  In fact newspaper headlines describe the disarray the other campaign’s face in realizing the trouble they may encounter. “Feuds flare up as clock ticks down toward caucuses in Iowa.” Deseret News, January 31, 2016.

It’s going go be a real horse race to the finish. Just watch:

Did you see all of my opponents riding those horses. Are you worried about them? Probably, because they have a few bumps and bruises from falling off those thoroughbreds.

Soon, I’ll be riding circles around them;

It’s time for this campaign to take on a “Theme Song” so, here’s mine:

Poll: Public doubts Washington’s problem-solving ability–Deseret News Sunday, January 24th, 2016

“As the first voting nears in the presidential race, most Americans have little to no confidence in the federal government to confront what they see as the country’s most important priorities, according to a national survey.”  This poll, conducted in December, found more than 6 in 10 respondents expressed only slight confidence—or none at all—that the federal government can make progress on the problems facing the nation in 2016.”

Now for my question.  How is this any different than the sentiments the American public felt in 2012, the last presidential year or what about the 1960 campaign or 1972?  Yep, the answer to that quiz question is D., all of the above.  In other words, these are the same doubts we, as Americans have had for the last 50 years, at least.  Here are, I believe, some of the reasons.

1) “Mia Love, Representative from the Utah Congress wants to crack down on Congress dumping controversial legislation into unrelated, must-pass bills in the middle of the night. She has introduced a measure to limit bills in Congress to one subject at a time.  It would prevent lawmakers from bundling things together or folding legislation into large appropriations bills. ” NOW THIS IS NOVEL “Each bill would rise and fall on its own merits. Members of both parties have made a habit of passing complex, thousand-page bills without hearings, amendments or debate,” Love said.  That process and the collusion that goes with it are why we a $18 trillion in debt and why the American people have lost trust in elected officials.”  By the way, good for Mia Love.

To anyone who cares, would like to care or may care in the future,

Last week I addressed some of the new concerns we face as a nation.  Specifically, who do we turn to when we, as a people, need help?  The old days are gone! Yep, Sayonara, Adios, Ciao, Au reveoir, Ahn youn hee ka se yo, arrivederci, bi xatre te, da svidaniya, ha det or my personal favorite—————–See Ya Pal!

It use to be you could turn to almost anyone, to get directions when you were lost, when you ran out of gas, couldn’t find something in a store, or were caught in a snowstorm in Melrose, New Mexico.  Well, that ain’t going to happen today.  First of all, if you go into a service station and say I’m lost, can you help me get to_______ (fill in the blank), the attendant doesn’t speak your language (probably one of the above languages), he looks at you like you just escaped from one of the pens at the Hogle Zoo, or he thinks you can just use your GPS in the car.  Guess what? A 1991 Nissan Sentra, by the name of Rambo, doesn’t, I repeat, doesn’t have GPS.  As a matter of fact, my campaign vehicle, which you’ve already seen in prior newsletters, will never have GPS.  I don’t want to taint my vehicle.  I want to get to those little towns on my own, with a map, and occasionally with the help of someone WHO CARES!  Most people can’t help you get where you want to go because they don’t know how to get there either.  Why? They don’t know how to read a map or they can’t speak your language or they just escaped from a pen at the Hogle Zoo!

What about if you run out of gas? Better arm yourself with a howitzer because no one will stop, you don’t know which pen at the zoo they escaped from or they drive an electric car and don’t know what gas is anyway. Why they say, do you need gas, as they drive away.  Heaven forbid, if you ask for help to find something in a store.  First the person growls at you, second they tell you they aren’t paid enough (minimum wage of $15 an hour) or they really don’t know where it is in the store either.  The stores turn over employees ever 7 and a half seconds.

Yes, we are a nation in trouble! Oh, we got trouble. Just watch…………

Yes, we are at the tipping point, just like Aldous Huxley suggests in his book “Brave New World.”  Although the novel is set in the future it deals with contemporary issues of the early 20th century. An early trip to the United States gave Brave New World much of its character. Not only was Huxley outraged by the culture of youth, commercial cheeriness and sexual promiscuity, and the inward-looking nature of many Americans, he had also found the book My Life and Work by Henry Ford on the boat to America, and he saw the book’s principles applied in everything he encountered after leaving San Francisco.^[16]

Others running for President in 2016, have missed the boat.  They think everything is Hunky Dorey!  Why should we talk to each other? Why should we care about others? Why should we help others get out of the convenience store in Melrose, Texas.  Let’s let the government do it.  After all, they already provide us with Medicare, Medicaid, free cell phones, Social Insecurity, and a dozen other programs so, we don’t have to work the rest of our lives.  Put us in the pens, and tell us when the “food is in the trough” and we’ll come eat.

Here’s what the test looks like with kids,

So, there you go.  Adults act a lot like kids! We want our marshmallow now.  We need a paradigm shift.  After all, anyone who’s going to provide a “better life outcome” by serving marshmallows is on to something.  Let’s talk about that next week.

Vote for the Real Donald Marshmallows for everyone!

“Where’s the Beef?”  Watch this!

All of the other candidates running this year, for any party, have a lot of “bun” but no beef!

That’s right, very little substance. Why? Because they forget that the great citizens of America always ask the same questions each Presidential cycle but, the candidates never really give a full, direct answer.  For example: when Bernie Sanders is asked if he is a socialist? Here’s his response:

Appearing on NBC’s Meet the Press, Sanders engaged with host Chuck Todd in a easy back-and-forth regarding his brand of socialism.

“Alright,” began Todd, “You joked about the idea when people call you a socialist, you say, ‘Yes, I’m going to make everybody wear the same color pajamas.’”

“Especially you,” replied Sanders.

“Especially me?” asked the host.

“I have a pair of pajamas just for you,” said the candidate.

Now, my take on this is that “I like to have people wearing different pajama’s.”  I don’t think our Founding Fathers or the Constitution ever intended for us all to wear the same pajama’s. After all some like bears and some like turtles.

One of the other major issues in this election is Terrorism.  Ever heard of that topic in the newspapers, on radio, or the T.V. lately?  What the other candidates don’t understand is that religion has been a “bone of contention” for people for about a billion years.  Ever heard of the Crusades?  Seems people don’t like other people who are not the same religion even though, most of the people will tell you that their religion tells them to “love each other” and “forgive each other” and “turn the other cheek.”  Too much bun, not enough beef!

I have a simple answer, everyone that wants to be a terrorist has to sit in the same room with other people they don’t like and watch “Lion King” together.  Half way through, they will all stand, join hands and sing “Hakuna Matata” several hundred times until they all want to hug each other and never have a “disposition to do evil.”  Look it works, just watch!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB5ceAruYrI

And finally, for this week, y’all know we went to the great state of Texas between Christmas and New Years.  Well, we got stranded in a snow storm in Melrose, New Mexico. We, along with 53 other people, either slept in a convenience store, on the floor, with no heat or lights, or in our cars in the parking lot overnight. Now, that may sound bad but, it wasn’t half bad.  The problem was, the next day we had to deal with the local highway patrol officer who also spent the night, and who waited for some of us to finally gather everyone together and decide we would get out of Dodge.  After he heard me say, “We’re going” he said, “me too.”  We also had the privilege of dealing with a rear wheel drive plow, with bad passenger tires who got stuck, that’s right stuck, not once, but twice trying to plow the snow.  Guess who got the plow unstuck?  Yes, indeed y’all, it was the 15 men and boys from the convenience store with shovels!!!!!!!  It doesn’t end there.  Once we got the plow unstuck, he drove away, never to be seen again.  Now there’s government at its best.  Then, after we set up a caravan of cars and trucks to forge ahead for 30 minutes to Clovis, we first ran into the Highway Patrolman, who after we got him through the snow, went out in front for a while until, a herd of cows, that broke out of a fence, ran down the highway and we find this fine officer herding cows in his patrol car down the highway.  He honked, they ran, but not in the direction he wanted them to.

Here’s the clincher.  Once through Clovis, on our way to Muleshoe, we encounter, a pickup towing a camper trailer jackknifed in the middle of the road.  Not to worry, a 6000 pound Farm Tractor comes to the rescue and promptly gets stuck in a drift.  Now the entire road is blocked and 40 mile an hour winds are blowing drifts around these 2 vehicles.  Again, not to worry!  The town sends out a grader but what’s this, the grader can’t push the snow, it’s too deep.  So the driver decides to turn around, go back to town and get a front loader.  In the meantime, a massive Army vehicle from Fort Cannon comes to tow the Farm Tractor out of the way but, what’s this, he can’t get his vehicle to the tractor because the snow is too deep so, he turns around and goes back to town.  Thirty minutes later, a front loader starts back to the blocked road but, by now, the police tell him to go back to town and come the next morning.  So, 20 to 30 cars and semi’s watch this preposterous display of ineptness on the highway.  Our government at work!  The moral of the story?  This is hard to believe but, in a age of cell phones, which worked, can’t one person call the grader, the front loader and the massive army vehicle and tell them all, to come at the same time. They could have cleared the highway in 30 minutes.  Instead, Clovis filled up all of their hotels that night.

By now, you get my drift—-no pun intended!  Gov’t doesn’t work very well and heaven forbid if we have an emergency.  Better to go to the funeral parlor and pick out your coffin. 

As President, I intend to fix this by giving every emergency vehicle a can, a long string and an edict to call each other and coordinate their matchbox trucks at the same time.

To prepare you for next week, watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umrp1tIBY8Q

Yes, “The beat Goes On”

Vote The Real Donald to Save Our Country